繼上次翻譯之后绳锅,今天的翻譯內(nèi)容是新概念Ⅲ第十六課飒焦。老規(guī)矩:本文打算先列出我的譯文,然后給出書中譯文悼沿,然后根據(jù)對(duì)比點(diǎn)明這次翻譯的收獲和教訓(xùn)等舔,最后再列出英文原文,以方便有志之人自己翻譯學(xué)習(xí)糟趾。
我的譯文:
瑪麗與丈夫迪米特里住在希臘南部一個(gè)叫波拉科拉的小村莊』胖玻瑪麗最寶貴的財(cái)產(chǎn)之一就是丈夫送給她的一只白色羔羊。白天她把它綁在田里的樹上义郑,然后每晚去把它領(lǐng)回家蝶柿。可是有一天晚上非驮,那只小羔羊不見(jiàn)了交汤。繩子被割斷了,很顯然院尔,小羊被人偷走了蜻展。
當(dāng)?shù)厦滋乩锔鳉w來(lái),瑪麗告訴他發(fā)生了什么事邀摆。迪米特里便立刻出發(fā)去尋找偷羊賊纵顾。他知道,在這么小的村莊里抓住小偷并非難事栋盹。把失竊這件事告訴他的幾個(gè)朋友后施逾,迪米特里了解到他的鄰居阿列科突然有了一只新羔羊。迪米特里立刻趕到阿列科家例获,氣沖沖地指責(zé)他偷了那只羔羊汉额。他告訴阿列科最好把羊還回來(lái),否則就要報(bào)警了榨汤。阿列科否認(rèn)偷羊一事蠕搜,并帶著迪米特里進(jìn)了他的后院。他的確剛剛買了一只羔羊收壕,阿列科解釋到妓灌,但他的羔羊是黑色的。帶著對(duì)自己的沖動(dòng)的羞愧蜜宪,迪米特里給阿列科道了歉虫埂,說(shuō)不該錯(cuò)誤地指責(zé)他。當(dāng)他們?nèi)栽谡f(shuō)話的時(shí)候圃验,下起了雨掉伏,迪米特里便在阿列科家里一直呆到雨停。半小時(shí)后,當(dāng)他走出房門斧散,他驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)小黑羊幾乎全身都變成白色了供常。原來(lái)它羊毛上的黑色染料,都被大雨給洗掉了鸡捐!
書中參考譯文:
瑪麗與丈夫迪米特里住在希臘南部一個(gè)叫波拉考拉的小村莊里』安啵瑪麗最珍貴的財(cái)產(chǎn)之一就是丈夫送給她的一只白色小羔羊。白天闯参,瑪麗把羔羊拴在地里的一顆樹上瞻鹏,每天晚上把它牽回家÷拐可是新博,一天晚上,那只小羔羊失蹤了脚草。繩子被人割斷赫悄,很明顯小羔羊是被人偷走了。
迪米特里從地里回來(lái)馏慨,妻子把情況跟他一說(shuō)埂淮,他馬上出去找偷羔羊的人。他知道在這樣一個(gè)小村莊里抓住小偷并不困難写隶。把失竊的事告訴幾個(gè)朋友后倔撞,迪米特里發(fā)出他的鄰居阿列科家突然多了一只小羔羊。迪米特里立刻去了阿列科家慕趴,氣呼呼地指責(zé)他偷了羔羊痪蝇,告訴他最好把羊交還,否則就去叫警察冕房。阿列科不承認(rèn)躏啰,并把迪米特里領(lǐng)進(jìn)院子。不錯(cuò)耙册,他的確剛買了一只羔羊给僵,阿列科解釋說(shuō),但他的羔羊是黑色的详拙。迪米特里為自己的魯莽而感到不好意思帝际,向阿列科道了歉,說(shuō)是錯(cuò)怪了他溪厘。就在他倆說(shuō)話的時(shí)候胡本,天下起了雨牌柄,迪米特里便呆在阿列科家里避雨畸悬,一直等到雨停為止。半小時(shí)后,當(dāng)他從屋里出來(lái)時(shí)蹋宦,他驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)小黑羔羊全身幾乎都變成白色披粟。原來(lái)羊毛上染的黑色被雨水沖掉了!
思考:
在此冷冗,我將兩譯文有較大差異之處列出守屉,分析其出入原因,得到一些關(guān)于翻譯表達(dá)的反思蒿辙。
差距1
我:當(dāng)?shù)厦滋乩锔鳉w來(lái)拇泛,瑪麗告訴他發(fā)生了什么事。迪米特里便立刻出發(fā)去尋找偷羊賊思灌。
書:迪米特里從地里回來(lái)俺叭,妻子把情況跟他一說(shuō),他馬上出去找偷羔羊的人泰偿。
分析:
從全文的角度熄守,的確可以在明確主語(yǔ)的關(guān)系之后,適當(dāng)用代詞替換名詞耗跛。這樣的好處不僅在于使行文變得簡(jiǎn)潔裕照,而且讓文章很流暢。
差距2
我:阿列科否認(rèn)偷羊一事调塌,并帶著迪米特里進(jìn)了他的后院晋南。
書:阿列科不承認(rèn),并把迪米特里領(lǐng)進(jìn)院子羔砾。
分析:
這句翻譯也體現(xiàn)了正確省略的效果搬俊。原文中的表達(dá)是“否認(rèn)拿了它”,但是這么表達(dá)在中文看來(lái)又很生澀蜒茄。如果直接譯成“不承認(rèn)”唉擂,就很簡(jiǎn)明,而且意思明晰檀葛。
差距3
我:帶著對(duì)自己的沖動(dòng)的羞愧玩祟,迪米特里給阿列科道了歉,說(shuō)不該錯(cuò)誤地指責(zé)他屿聋。
書:迪米特里為自己的魯莽而感到不好意思空扎,向阿列科道了歉,說(shuō)是錯(cuò)怪了他润讥。
分析:
1之所以翻譯成“帶著對(duì)自己的沖動(dòng)的羞愧转锈,”,是為了體現(xiàn)出原文狀語(yǔ)的意思楚殿,而并非在把這一狀態(tài)表達(dá)成動(dòng)作撮慨。
2后半句原文的表達(dá)是“迪米特里因?yàn)殄e(cuò)誤地指責(zé)了他而向阿列科道歉”。這樣翻譯肯定不妥當(dāng),動(dòng)詞前面累贅太多砌溺。文中翻譯更勝一籌影涉,“錯(cuò)怪了他”就是“錯(cuò)誤地指責(zé)他”的精簡(jiǎn)版。
結(jié)論:
從本文中能感受到文章簡(jiǎn)潔之美规伐。為了做到這一點(diǎn)蟹倾,要在能說(shuō)清意思的情況下,使用代詞猖闪,減少名詞重復(fù)鲜棠。并且在翻譯的過(guò)程中,看看目標(biāo)文本能不能用更簡(jiǎn)潔的方法表達(dá)出同意培慌。
最后附本文原文:
Mary and her husband Dimitri lived in the tiny village of Perachora in southern Greece. One of Mary's prize possessions was a little white lamb which her husband had given her. She kept it tied to a tree in a field during the day and went to fetch it every evening. One evening, however, the lamb was missing. The rope had been cut, so it was obvious that the lamb had been stolen.
When Dimitri came in from the fields, his wife told him what had happened. Dimitri at once set out to find the thief. He knew it would not prove difficult in such a small village. After telling several of his friends about the theft, Dimitri found out that his neighbour, Aleko, had suddenly acquired a new lamb. Dimitri immediately went to Aleko's house and angrily accused him of stealing the lamb. He told him he had better return it or he would call the police. Aleko denied taking it and led Dimitri into his backyard. It was true that he had just bought a lamb, he explained, but his lamb was black. Ashamed of having acted so rashly, Dimitri apologized to Aleko for having accused him. While they were talking it began to rain and Dimitri stayed in Aleko's house until the rain stopped. When he went outside half an hour later, he was astonished to find the little black lamb was almost white. Its wool, which had been dyed black, had been washed clean by the rain!
末尾注:希望大家能夠從本文中得到啟發(fā)岔留,利用此法鍛煉英語(yǔ)能力。本文翻譯素材來(lái)自于新概念第三冊(cè)检柬,最后英文原文由本人親自輸入献联。該篇文章屬本人原創(chuàng),屬于原書中部分已經(jīng)注明何址。