我們大部分人已經(jīng)知道，在這個世界上任何兩個人之間只需要通過六個中間人就可以互相認識客叉。這是怎樣實現(xiàn)的？
Because some of those people know many, many more people than the rest of us.
這本書就是教你成為這種super-connectors（超級交際樞紐）解恰。
本書作者從小時候給人當球童起霉撵，就發(fā)現(xiàn)了人脈的重要性，便不斷地摸索和總結(jié)如何經(jīng)營和提升自己人脈圈的方法帘撰。多年的摸爬滾打跑慕，使他終于從白手起家的窮小子，變成一顆美國商界璀璨的新星摧找。他把自己如何與商場或政界中的風(fēng)云人物交往的過程核行，用生動的筆調(diào)寫了出來。讀起來輕松活潑蹬耘，不像國內(nèi)某些用剪刀芝雪、糨糊攢起來的圖書，大同小異综苔、毫無趣味
這本書可以歸結(jié)為卡內(nèi)基How to win friends and influence people的升級版惩系，理念幾乎相同位岔，境界卻更高。
卡內(nèi)基的這本書蛆挫，中文譯名赃承，人性的弱點妙黍，風(fēng)靡世界長達70多年悴侵。以前因為這個書名太功利，我自命清高對其嗤之以鼻拭嫁，把它束之高閣可免。之后買了原版看，從此打破了自己對成功學(xué)一類書的看法做粤，還做了長長的讀書筆記http://book.douban.com/review/5291451/
說實話浇借，以前自己對美國self-help類的成功學(xué)書從來沒有好感，覺得都是其功利民族特性下催生出的金錢至上淺薄干癟的小伎倆怕品。然而近年來妇垢，我發(fā)現(xiàn)美國也慢慢涌現(xiàn)出了一批同樣以人們謀福祉為目的，但充滿靈氣的指導(dǎo)性書籍肉康，Stephen的7 habit算是第一本闯估，現(xiàn)在這本never eat alone同樣達到這樣的境界。
現(xiàn)在年見識閱歷漸長吼和，越發(fā)覺卡內(nèi)基的技巧非常有用的涨薪。卡內(nèi)基他抓住了維系人際關(guān)系中一些關(guān)鍵的技術(shù)性的東西炫乓，人性中的“弱點”刚夺，基本上可以達到無往不利的地步。
但為什么我總是覺得有一種 “動機不純” 的感覺末捣？特別是當交朋友這種事情侠姑，都被詭秘地隱藏了某種目的，輔之以各種看似貼心的手段箩做，越發(fā)讓人覺得無法親近结借。
Never eat alone把卡內(nèi)基的理念進一步升華，也回答了我一直困惑的問題卒茬。
人之所以為人船老，就是因為我們活在各種各樣的社會關(guān)系網(wǎng)中。自知或者不自知圃酵，這個由各種關(guān)系結(jié)成的網(wǎng)柳畔，也千頭萬縷地把我們生命的軌跡纏繞和左右。作者指出郭赐，從某種程度而言薪韩，把握生命确沸，其實就是把握這些千絲萬縷的關(guān)系網(wǎng)。如果這些或親情俘陷，友情罗捎，伙伴的關(guān)系本身光明磊落，健康向上拉盾，那我們的人生軌跡也必將也是向上的
這是一本健康桨菜，向上，指導(dǎo)你如何交真心朋友捉偏，度過成功倒得，有意義的人生的書。
作者最后是這么說的：
我們不是為了搞人際關(guān)系而去交朋友夭禽，不斷去結(jié)識朋友霞掺，它本身就是一種生活方式，所謂成功的人際交往其實就是以另一種方式來看這個世界讹躯。
It's a way of living. I started to realize that connecting was actually a way of seeing the world.
總之菩彬，我們都要度過各自的人生，而所謂人生潮梯，本質(zhì)上就是我們在這一生中跟哪些人共同度過骗灶。(In the end, we all live one life. And that life is all about the people we live it with.)
歡迎來到關(guān)聯(lián)的時代！酷麦！
Welcome to the Connected Age.
End
============================
readingnote:
非常長矿卑，留給自己看吧。
1貧窮的真正可怕之處
.Poverty, I realized, wasn't only a lack of financial resources; it was isolation from the kind of people that could help you make more of yourself.
2.沒有白手興家之輩沃饶，沒有人能脫離別人的幫助
There is no such thing as a "self-made" man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for
us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into
the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our
Success.
3.先付出后索取
You gain trust by asking not what people can
do for you, to paraphrase an earlier Kennedy, but what you can do
for others.In other words, the currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.
4.如何結(jié)識更多的人
Right now, there are countless ways you can begin to create the kind of community that can help further your career. You can: (1)create a company-approved project that will force you to learnnew skills and introduce you to new people within your company;(2) take on leadership positions in the hobbies and outside organizations that interest you; (3) join your local alumni club and spend time with people who are doing the jobs you'd like to be doing; (4) enroll in a class at a community college on a subject
that relates to either the job you're doing now or a job you see
yourself doing in the future
5.你去請求人家?guī)椭竿ⅲ顗牡慕Y(jié)果，只不過是NO糊肤。那你還怕什么琴昆？Every time I start to set limits to what I can and can't do, or fear
starts to creep into my thinking, I remember that Big Wheel tricycle.
I remind myself how people with a low tolerance for risk,
whose behavior is guided by fear, have a low propensity for success.The memories of those days have stuck with me. My father
taught me that the worst anyone can say is no. If they choose not
to give their time or their help, it's their loss.
Nothing in my life has created opportunity like a willingness
to ask, whatever the situation
6.冒險，則卓越馆揉。The choice isn't between success and failure; it's between choosing risk and striving for greatness, or risking nothing and being certain of mediocrity
7.別扯淡
Don't schmooze.
Have something to say, and say it with passion. Make sure you
have something to offer when you speak, and offer it with sincerity.
8.記住別人的名字业舍，你就沒什么人認識不到了
Remember, if you're organized, focused, and a stickler for taking
names, there's no one that's out of reach.
9.興趣才是大家互相交往的最純真動機
Shared interests are the basic building blocks of any relationshipIt is what you do together that matters, not how often you
meet. That's why you have to pay special attention to where you're
most comfortable and what activities you most enjoy.
Usually it's the events and activities you excel at that you're
most passionate about.
10.花時間交朋友也不要忘了你身邊最重要的人
Of course, we all need to schedule the appropriate time
with friends and family as well, or just to read or relax. While
enriching your life to include others whenever and wherever you
104 Never Eat Alone
can, make sure you're not neglecting the key relationships in
your life.
When your day is fueled by passion, filled with interesting
people to share it with, reaching out will seem less like a challenge
or a chore and more like an effortless consequence of the way
you work.
11.要步步緊隨，做好跟進方案
Do you want to stand out from the crowd? Then you'll be
miles ahead by following up better and smarter than the hordes
scrambling for the person's attention. The fact is, most people
don't follow up very well, if at all. Good follow-up alone elevates
you above 95 percent of your peers. The follow-up is the hammer
and nails of your networking tool kit.
In fact, FOLLOW-UP IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN ANY
FIELD.
12讓跟進成為一種習(xí)慣
.Make follow-up a habit. Make it automatic. When you do,
the days of struggling to remember people's names—and of other
people struggling to remember yours—will be a thing of the
Past.
13.演講是讓人認識你最有效的方式
But there may be no better place to extend your professional
network and, on occasion, get deals done
14演講的重要性
Listen. Better Yet, Speak.Calm yourself. First, you should know that giving speeches is
one of the easiest and most effective ways to get yourself, your
business, and your ideas seen, heard of, and remembered,
15做了準備工作升酣，你知道每個人舷暮，你就牛逼了
.Be an Information Hub
Once you've created an opportunity to meet new people,
establish yourself as an "information hub"—a key role of any
good networker
16.休息時間就是你認識人的時間
Breaks Are No Time to Take a Break
Breaks are where the real work happens at a conference.
Make sure and stake out the right place.
17弱聯(lián)系才是真正有價值的
.weak ties" are generally more important
than those you consider strong.
Your weak ties, on the other hand, generally occupy a very different
world than you do. They're hanging out with different people,
often in different worlds, with access to a whole inventory of
knowledge and information unavailable to you and your close
Friends.
18. 別他媽總是和同事扯淡，花時間結(jié)交不同的有趣的人吧Ｘ选下面！
Hunt out people who look and act and
sound nothing like you do. Seek out ideas from people you don't
ordinarily talk to who inhabit professional worlds you don't ordinarily
travel in.In one word: Connect. In four better words: Connect with the
Connectors.
19.分享自己的圈子給其他朋友
The most efficient way to enlarge and tap the full potential of
your circle of friends is, quite simply, to connect your circle
with someone else's.
20分享圈子的作用
.If you are sharing someone else's circle of friends, be sure that
you adequately acknowledge the person who ushered you into
this new world, and do so in all the subsequent connections that
they helped foster.
Never forget the person who brought you to the dance.
21.搭訕的用處
As Harrell's study confirmed, the more successfully you use
language, the faster you can get ahead in life.
So what should your objective be in making small talk? Good
question. The goal is simple: Start a conversation, keep it going,
create a bond, and leave with the other person thinking
22.做你自己是最簡潔的方式，不用煩绩聘。
When it comes to making an impression, differentiation is the
name of the game. Confound expectation. Shake it up. How?
There's one guaranteed way to stand out in the professional world:
Be yourself
23.幫助人家完成他的夢想Ａじ睢耗啦！
"What's Your Mission?" the
answer to "What do you really want?" determines all that you do
and all the people who help you accomplish it. It provides the
blueprint for all your efforts to reach out and connect with others.
Likewise, when you understand someone else's mission, you hold
the key to opening the door to what matters most to them. Knowing
that will help you create deep, long-lasting bonds.
24.記住這個宗旨，關(guān)聯(lián)即每個人你見到的人都是一個能幫助你机杜，或者你幫助人的機會
Connecting is a philosophy of life, a worldview. Its guiding principleis that people, all people, every person you meet, is an opportunity
to help and be helped
25.事業(yè)的本質(zhì)帜讲。
This is far from a trivial question. Business is, after all, the ability
to motivate a group of individuals to move an idea from concept
to reality; to take a theory and make it a practice; to gain the
buy-in of your employees and colleagues; to encourage others to
execute your plans
26. 認可他人是最重要的。
The only way to get people to do anything is to recognize their
importance and thereby make them feel important. Every person's
deepest lifelong desire is to be significant and to be recognized.
What better way is there to show appreciation and to lavish
praise on others than to take an interest in who they are and what
their mission is?
27.財富椒拗，健康似将，子女，這三樣是每個人最渴求別人能幫助的陡叠，若你能提供這三方面的幫助玩郊，別人感激不盡啊有木有
When you help someone through a health issue, positively
impact someone's personal wealth, or take a sincere interest in
their children, you engender life-bonding loyalty.
29不停介紹可以朋友可以雙贏的機會
.I'm constantly introducing two people from different
parts of my life who might benefit from knowing each
other. It's a sort of ongoing puzzle, matching up the right people
and the right opportunities. Once you, too, start to see the world
this way, it opens up exciting opportunities. It's both rewarding
and fun.
30.如果要靠自己成功肢执，你要兩年枉阵。如果你努力幫助別人成功，那你成功則需兩個月
To paraphrase Dale Carnegie: You can be more successful in
two months by becoming really interested in other people's success
than you can in two years trying to get other people interested
in your own success
31寫作非常重要
.And writing articles can be a great boost for
your career. It provides instant credibility and visibility. It can
become a key arrow in your self-marketing quiver, creating relationships
with highly respected people and helping you develop a
skill that's always in high demand.
32.為什么我們要結(jié)交成功的人预茄？
Why is it that we're so taken with the lives of big achievers? If
we measure our accomplishments against the accomplishments of
others, it stands to reason that the more accomplished the people
we associate with, the greater our aspirations become.
People who fit our conventional notions of fame and celebrity
often have qualities or skills that we admire. Many of these people
have achieved great things through risk, passion, focus, hard
work, and positive attitudes. And so many of them have overcome
so much.
33不管你以后成就有多大兴溜，你不能傲慢，特別是對你的老朋友耻陕，這沒意思拙徽，隨時感恩，別裝逼诗宣，他們是你最好的老朋友
.Most important, I learned that arrogance is a disease that can
betray you into forgetting your real friends and why they're so
important. Even with the best of intentions, too much hubris will
stir up other people's ire and their desire to put you in your place.
So remember, in your hike up the mountain, be humble. Help
others up the mountain along with and before you. Never let the
prospect of a more powerful or famous acquaintance make you
lose sight of the fact that the most valuable connections you have
are those you've already made at all levels. I reach back into my
past regularly to touch base with the folks who have meant so
much to me since I was a kid. I go out of my way to tell the early
mentors what they meant to me and how much they were responsible
for my success today
34人際交往膘怕，是一種生活的方式
.It's a way of living. Several years ago, I started
to realize that connecting was actually a way of seeing the world.
.In the end, we all live one life. And that life is all about the
people we live it with.
36.如果我們每天都在和自己喜歡的人打交道，那么工作和生活根本沒有界限召庞，你每天都生活在愛當中岛心，幸福死了！篮灼！
if a person did what he or she loved, it would feel as if they never worked a day in their life. If your life is filled with people you care about and who care for you,
why concern yourself with "balancing" anything at all?
