續(xù)接：自深深處——王爾德致波西的信（九）
作者簡介及相關(guān)背景介紹請參閱：
作者：奧斯卡·王爾德
譯文：真念一思
配樂：Caliburn（石中之劍，編曲：Medwyn Goodall?）
舒緩 優(yōu)美 寧靜的天籟......人在得意時件豌，總有人阿諛奉承你陈肛，精神賄賂你黍特。開始享郊，你可能有所警覺骄蝇，時間一久狼忱，習以為常羡玛，忘乎所以别智，以為自已才華蓋世，可以左右乾坤稼稿。其實薄榛，在茫茫人海中，我們每個人让歼，只是微塵敞恋。暴風雨會在不經(jīng)意間，忽然降臨....（來自音樂網(wǎng)評）
Our friendship really begins with your begging me in a most pathetic and charming letter to assist you in a position appalling to anyone, doubly so to a young man at Oxford: I do so.
You send me a very nice poem, of the undergraduate school of verse. I reply by a letter of fantastic literary conceits like a passage from one of Shakespeare's sonnets, transposed to a minor key. It can only be understood by those who have read the Symposium of Plato. It was, let me say frankly, the sort of letter I would write to any graceful young man of either University who had sent me a poem of his own making, certain that he would have sufficient wit or culture to interpret rightly its fantastic phrases.
我們的友誼谋右，其實是始于你的一封極其可憐而又可愛的信硬猫，求我在你危難之際幫你一把。你當時的那種情形對任何人改执，尤其是對一個就讀于牛津大學的年輕人來說浦徊，倍加可怕：于是我?guī)土四恪?br>
你寄給我一首很好的詩，來自本科學院詩集天梧。在回信中，我用了些巧妙的文學意象霞丧，就像是引自莎士比亞十四行詩中的一段呢岗，被轉(zhuǎn)為了小調(diào)似的。只有那些讀過柏拉圖的《會飲篇》（見注釋）的人，才能真正理解其中內(nèi)涵后豫。那信悉尾，坦白地說，我可能會寫過任何一位高雅的青年挫酿，無論他來自哪所大學构眯，要是他寄給我一首他自己寫的詩的話。當然早龟，他必須有足夠的才智或文學修養(yǎng)惫霸，能正確地理解信中那些奇妙的段落。
Look at the history of that letter!
It passes from you into the hands of a loath some companion: from him to a gang of blackmailers: copies of it are sent about London to my friends, and to the manager of the theater where my work is being performed:? every construction but the right one is put on it.
This forms the basis of your father's worst attack. I produce the original myself in Court to show what it really is: it is denounced by your father's Counsel as a revolting and insidious attempt to corrupt innocence: it forms part of a criminal charge. The Judge sums up on it with little learning and much morality. I go to prison for it. That is the result of writing you a charming letter.
看看那封信是如何流轉(zhuǎn)的吧葱弟！
先是經(jīng)你傳到了你的一個不太討人喜歡的同伴手里壹店，又通過他傳到一個敲詐團伙的惡棍那里，各種副本在倫敦到處散播芝加，有的寄給了我的朋友硅卢，還有的到了正上演我作品的劇院經(jīng)理處，人們添油加醋藏杖，卻沒有一個是真的将塑。
這封信成了你父親對我進行最惡毒攻擊的基礎(chǔ)：我自己在法庭出示原信，說明真相蝌麸，卻被你父親的辯護律師指為点寥，這是一個令人厭惡的，意在腐化純真青年的陰險企圖祥楣，而構(gòu)成了刑事指控一個組成部分开财。法官更多的是出于道義而并非學識，做出了結(jié)案陳詞误褪。我因此而進了監(jiān)獄责鳍。這就是我詞情并茂地給你寫了那封信的下場。
But, I need not go on with instances of the stange Doom you seem to brought on me in all things big or little. Of course you had your illusions, lived in them indeed. You thought, that your devoting yourself to me, to the entire exclusion of your family, was a proof of your wonderful appreciation of me.
You thought that in sending a lawyer's letter to your father to say that, rather than sever your eternal friendship with me, you would give up the allowance of that making you, you were realising the very chivalry of friendship. But your surrender of your little allowance did not mean that you were ready to give up even one of your most super fluousluxuries, or was merely a pretence of bravado gave you a plausible reason to live at my expense.
You thought again that in attacking your own father with dreadful letters, abusive telegrams, and insulting postcards you were fighting your mother's battles, avenging the no doubt terrible wrongs and sufferings of her married life.
但是我沒有必要列出所有或大或小的事情兽间，來作為你帶給我的這奇特命運的例證历葛。當然，你有你的幻想嘀略，并深陷其中恤溶。你認為你完全背叛了你的家庭，把你自己奉獻給我帜羊，就是你對我有美好情感的明證咒程。
你認為在發(fā)給你父親的律師函中說這些，并不是想斷絕你我之間的永恒友情讼育，你將放棄在這樁訴訟案中所獲得的補償帐姻，以體現(xiàn)你出于友情的翩翩騎士風度稠集。但是你放棄你那點補償，并不意味著你真的準備放棄饥瓷，你的哪怕是其中一項奢華享受剥纷，這不過是一個狡猾的借口，給了你一個要依靠我的錢來生活的冠冕堂皇的理由呢铆。
你還認為晦鞋，用那些令人厭惡的信件、充滿謾罵性言詞的電報和侮辱性語言的明信片來攻擊你的親生父親棺克，是為你母親而復仇的戰(zhàn)斗悠垛，是為她在她的婚姻生活中所遭受到的，無疑是可怕的不幸與折磨的報復逆航。
It was an illusion, one of your worst.
The way for you to avenged your mother's wrongs was by being a better son to your mother: by not making her afraid to speak to you, by not signing bills the payment of which devolved on her; by being gentler to her, and not bringing sorrow into her days.
I also had my illusions. I thought life was going to be a brilliant comedy, and that you were to be one of many graceful figures in it.
The Pall Mall Gazette, describing the dress-rehearsal of one of my plays, spoke of you as following me about like a shadow.
The memory of our friendship is the shadow that walks with me here, it follows me into the prison-yard and makes me talk to myself as I tramp around; each detail each dreadful moment I am forced to recall: every strained note of your voice, every twitch of your nervous hands, every bitter word, every poisonous phrase.
There is, I know, one answer to all that I have said. You loved me. Yes I know you did. No matter what your conduct to me was I always felt that at heart you really did love me.
這是一種幻想鼎文，是你最糟糕的幻想之一。
你以為因俐，你為報復你母親的不幸而選擇這樣的方式拇惋，是一個你母親的好兒子的作為：是要讓她不再害怕對你訴說一切，是讓她可以不必再簽收那些轉(zhuǎn)嫁給她的賬單抹剩，是對她更加溫柔以待撑帖，是讓她今后的日子不再悲傷。
我也有我的幻想澳眷，我以為生活將會是一個光輝燦爛的喜劇胡嘿，而你是那劇中眾多美好角色中的一個。蓓爾美爾街報刊登了一則關(guān)于我的一部戲彩排的報道钳踊，說你與我如影隨形衷敌。而關(guān)于我們友情的回憶，也如同我的影子一樣在這里拓瞪，它隨我進入監(jiān)獄缴罗，使我在四處漂泊中常常自言自語。我強迫自己去回憶我們交往的每一個細節(jié)祭埂，每一個危機時刻面氓，你緊張時聲音的每一次顫抖，你焦慮時雙手的每一次痙攣蛆橡，每一個尖酸的用詞舌界，每一段惡毒的言語。
但我知道泰演，只有一個答案呻拌，可以解釋我上述的所有情形。那就是：你愛我睦焕。是的柏锄，我知道你愛我酿箭。無論你怎樣對待我，我依然能從內(nèi)心深處感受到趾娃，你是真的愛我……（待續(xù)）
注釋：
《會飲篇》是古希臘哲學家柏拉圖的一篇對話式作品，于公元前385年左右寫成缔御，是一段關(guān)于對愛的本質(zhì)的作品抬闷，以演講和對話的形式寫成，被學者們普遍認為《會飲篇》是柏拉圖最偉大的兩篇對話之一耕突。篇中描寫悲劇家阿伽松為了慶祝自己的劇本獲獎笤成，邀請了幾位朋友到家中會飲、交談眷茁。參加者有修辭學家斐德羅炕泳、喜劇家阿里斯托芬、哲學家蘇格拉底等人上祈。整篇對話主要由六篇對愛神厄洛斯的頌辭組成培遵。文章中，柏拉圖想討論的是一種超越性和時間的愛情登刺，想找出愛情的本質(zhì)是什么籽腕，但最終沒有得到確切的答案。但看柏拉圖的文章是就要有這樣的準備——講的很有道理纸俭，卻不一定是你想要的答案皇耗，當然這也是其思想的美麗之處，沒有現(xiàn)成的答案揍很，真正的答案需要自己去思考郎楼。
圖片及注釋文字來自網(wǎng)絡(luò)，向原作者致敬致謝窒悔！
題圖詩：廬陽第一怪
? ? 穿波天池撒云網(wǎng)呜袁，凡種俗類不入艙。
? ? 但憑真念遨霄宇蛉迹，不教一思墮滄桑傅寡。
? ? ? ? ? ———\ 一絲怪念組合????
? ? （感謝廬陽第一怪配詩鼓勵支持！）
題圖詩：蠻力
? ? ? ? 山水兩重天北救，一艘捕魚船荐操。
? ? ? ? 悠閑看風景，晚霞醉天邊珍策。
? ? ? （感謝蠻力配詩鼓勵支持Ｍ衅簟）
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