Why children need discipline
為什么孩子需要紀律
Many parents don’t set - or don't enforce - rules for their kids because they don’t want to be the villain. But setting your child limits is vital for teaching him self-control, and they help your child feel secure.
許多家長不設置——或不執(zhí)行—— 只因為他們不想成為唱白臉的父母鹿蜀，所以不為孩子立規(guī)矩填渠。但是收苏，為孩子設立規(guī)范至關(guān)重要钧嘶，這不僅教會他們自我管理，也讓孩子獲得安全感。
One of the main parent pitfalls, is failing to set rules because you don’t want to be too tough on your kids. Trouble is, this often means parents end up losing control because they’re too soft to enforce boundaries and follow up bad behavior with consequences.
為人父母，最常見的一個坑，就是因為心太軟不立規(guī)矩捐韩。問題在于，無規(guī)矩不成方圓鹃锈，不設限的你漸漸就失去控制荤胁，最終“管不住”孩子 （譯者：想想我們常常聽到的父母怨言，“老人管不住孩子啦”仪召，為什么呢寨蹋？因為老人不舍得或沒有精力去按規(guī)矩管教孩子。） 最后的結(jié)果——一切將止于你失去管教話語權(quán)扔茅，孩子有了種種壞習慣......
Few aspects of parenting are as important as discipline. The bottom line is that it helps your child feel secure and determines what kind of person he’ll grow up to be.
還有幾個教育孩子的要素已旧，同“紀律”一樣重要。其底線都在于幫助孩子獲得足夠的安全感召娜，并最終決定孩子未來成長為什么樣的人运褪。
Discipline or punishment?
規(guī)矩還是懲戒？
So many parents confuse discipline with punishment and part of Supernanny’s mission is to show parents that managing their kids’ behaviour needn’t be a negative experience. See discipline as a way of teaching your child self-control instead of a way of controlling your child, and you’re well on the way to appreciating that it can be a positive learning experience. Once you’ve helped build that sense of self-control, you’ve effectively taught your child the skill of disciplining himself.
大多數(shù)家長總是將管教和懲罰混為一談玖瘸，Supernanny（超級保姆秸讹，一檔孩子管教主題的電視真人秀）的最重要任務就是——讓家長理解，管理孩子雅倒，無需成為彼此充滿負能量的體驗璃诀。視“紀律”為教會孩子自我管理而不是控制孩子的辦法，你將會發(fā)現(xiàn)“管教”是正面積極的蔑匣。一旦你幫助孩子建立的自我控制的意識劣欢，你已經(jīng)教會了孩子自我管理。
Why kids need rules
為什么孩子需要規(guī)則
Your rules set limits and boundaries for your child that help him think in an orderly way and get along with other kids and adults. They impact on his academic success – think about how the discipline he learns from you is the basis for his behavior at school –
你的規(guī)則為孩子設限裁良，幫助他們有序的思考凿将，以及知曉如何同其他孩子和成年人相處。這些會影響他在學業(yè)上能否取得成功——他從你這里學會的規(guī)范是他在學校的行動準則价脾。
demonstrate that there are consequences to his actions and keep him safe. Helping him stick to the rules will make him way more pleasant to have around and be around and his sense of self-control is a vital skill he can fall back on during his teen years, when making wise decisions may run counter to his desire to rebel.
一貫的行為和良好的結(jié)果說明“紀律”才能確保他的安全牧抵，幫助他堅持原則才會讓他更愉悅的融入人群，融入社會侨把。當他面臨選擇與青春期叛逆的時候犀变，他自我管理的能力也將成為他不至于行差踏錯的重要因素妹孙。
Keeping it positive
保持正面積極
If discipline isn’t the same as punishment, that definitely rules out spanking. Although some parents see it as the ideal short, sharp shock - especially if their child is engaging in behavior that risks his safety - using it for day-to-day punishment risks teaching your child that physical aggression is OK. Always keep in mind that you’re aiming to teach your child what behavior is acceptable – not punish him for being bad.
如果行為管理不同于懲罰，那么規(guī)則就不是打屁股弛作。盡管有的家長認為打屁股是短期奏效的方法——特別是孩子錯誤的行為具有一些危險因素的時候涕蜂，這會讓你的孩子認為华匾，身體的攻擊與懲罰是可以解決問題的映琳。你需要時刻記住：你的目的是讓孩子理解什么行為是OK的蜘拉，而不是單純懲罰他的錯誤萨西。
Some parents just don’t want to be the bad guy; others let their kids get away with doing what they like when and where they like because they’re afraid saying no will result in a tantrum. Others had harsh discipline meted out to them when they were young and don’t want their kids to feel the way they did. What you have to remember is that you owe it to your child to raise him to be a responsible adult – and teaching him how to behave is a big part of that. How do you do it?
一些父母就不想唱白臉谎脯；另一些父母就怕孩子的暴脾氣而放任不管；還有一些父母小時候受盡苛刻的管教因而不想自己的孩子感受到那樣的不美好持寄。但你需要記住的是源梭，把孩子養(yǎng)育成人，是你的責任稍味，是你該完成的使命废麻，而且教他做人是撫養(yǎng)他成年這個過程中的重要任務。
Don’t see your child as bad
別把孩子看的太糟糕
Instead of coming at discipline from the angle that your child has intentionally done something naughty, try see his acting up as a lapse in judgment. This makes it easier for you to discipline him in a positive way because you’ll be more inclined to focus on teaching him what’s acceptable.
如果你的孩子調(diào)皮搗蛋模庐，不是你心目中愛學習的乖寶寶烛愧，試著看成他判斷有誤。這會讓你更正面的引導和管教他掂碱，因為你會更傾向于專注于告訴他什么是可接受的怜姿。
Make his routine consistent
保持一致的作息時間
Set regular times for meals, homework and bedtime. If he knows it’s set in stone that he does something at a particular time, he’s less likely to act up when you tell him to go do it.
設置規(guī)定的時間吃飯、作業(yè)疼燥、睡覺沧卢。如果他能充分理解在什么時間做什么事情是板上釘釘?shù)模筒惶赡茉谠搶懽鳂I(yè)的時候而拒絕完成它醉者。
Don’t make rules he can’t keep
別制定他們無法完成的規(guī)則
Be reasonable when it comes to the house rules. Involve your child as much as possible in compiling them and before making each rule, think about whether it’s really necessary and whether you might be effectively setting traps for him by laying down laws he can’t possibly stick to. Make sure your rules are appropriate for his age and accept that you might need to be more flexible as he gets older and needs more independence.
在家里制定合理的規(guī)則但狭。讓孩子參與到規(guī)則制定，衡量規(guī)則的必要性湃交，考慮清楚這樣的規(guī)則他是否能很好的執(zhí)行熟空。確保你所設定的規(guī)范是在他這個年紀的孩子可以接受的，而且孩子越來越大之后搞莺，你的規(guī)則設置需要更彈性化和獨立性息罗。
Consistently enforce consequences
堅決執(zhí)行
One of the best ways to deter your child from acting up is to show him you - and all his carers - mean business when it comes to consequences – if he thinks you’re a soft touch he won’t have any incentive to follow the rules.
讓孩子不調(diào)皮搗蛋的最好辦法（沒有之一）就是讓他明白，干了壞事要承擔后果才沧。一旦孩子發(fā)現(xiàn)你沒有嚴格執(zhí)行或者執(zhí)行軟著陸迈喉，他的行為就會打折扣绍刮。
Remove temptation
消除誘惑
Young children have very little self-control, so don’t leave temptation in their way. Let’s face it: if they can reach the snack jar they're sure to raid it half an hour before dinner is ready! Avoid having to discipline them for it by not leaving behavior booby traps in their path – instead create an environment that promotes good behavior.
越小的孩子自控能力越弱，所以不要在他們的視野范圍留下誘惑挨摸。我們要明白的是孩革，如果他們能找到餅干罐，他們絕對能在晚飯前干掉餅干得运。避免讓他們受到誘惑之后再來管教膝蜈，而是創(chuàng)造條件和環(huán)境幫助他們塑造自我管理的能力。
Watch the dos and don’ts
注意你的用詞
Re-frame your discipline vocabulary. For example, instead of saying “Josh, don’t snatch that toy from Cody”, say “It’s Cody’s turn to play with that toy now, Josh”. In this way you’re telling your child what to do instead of constantly telling him what not to do.
重構(gòu)你的”管理“用詞熔掺。比如饱搏，不要說“Josh，別搶科迪的玩具”置逻，說“現(xiàn)在是該Cody玩玩具推沸，Josh”。這樣告訴你的孩子該做什么怎么做券坞，而不是不斷告訴他不要做什么鬓催。（ The End )
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