健康的家庭關(guān)系中重要的兩點就是界限(boundary)還有責任(responsibility)。
首先要劃分正確的界限硅急,即認清自己的問題自己來解決覆享,對方的問題對方來解決。家庭關(guān)系出現(xiàn)問題往往就是因為這個界限模糊营袜,或是一方過度干涉對方撒顿,事無巨細,全權(quán)負責荚板;或是總是把本應(yīng)該自己解決的問題推給對方凤壁,依賴別人來解決自己的問題。
People in a healthy relationship with strong boundaries will take responsibility for their own values and problems and not take responsibility for their partner's values and problems .
當然這種界限并不意味著相互之間沒有幫助和支持跪另。幫助和支持是一種發(fā)自內(nèi)心的選擇拧抖,而不是義務(wù)的捆綁或是自以為是。
You don't have to fix it for me ,Just support me while I fix it myself .?
這種界限-責任的認知不僅適用于兩性關(guān)系免绿,也適用于親子關(guān)系唧席。家長對于孩子過度的關(guān)注和限制孩子自由選擇、承擔責任的權(quán)利嘲驾,事實上就是一種界限不清淌哟。造成的后果就是剝奪了孩子自己承擔責任的能力。家長處處給孩子保駕護航辽故,孩子怎么能學會承擔責任徒仓?
An overbearing mother may take responsibility for every problem in her children's lives ,Her own entitlement the encourage an entitlement in her children ,as they grown up to believe oher people should always be responsible for theire problems .?