By小小編輯發(fā)表于2009-03-22
FML囧文Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML
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跟爺爺還有姐姐一起吃飯呢,吃著吃著我爺爺看看我姐姐,然后點點頭,“嗯搜变,我們家小姑娘真俊吶”李茫,然后轉(zhuǎn)過頭來看看我巡通,沒說話,憋了半天礼搁,“嗯宙搬,我們家小姑娘的衣服真好看”。FML
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今天拓哺,我和爺爺和妹妹一起吃午飯勇垛。我爺爺看了看我姐姐說:“哇。你是如此美麗士鸥∠泄拢”之后,他轉(zhuǎn)過來對我說烤礁,“你有一個漂亮的外套讼积。”FML
By小小編輯發(fā)表于2009-03-03
FML囧文Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML
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今天脚仔,我和那個可愛的家伙一起坐在長椅上勤众。突然,他說:“我知道我們彼此不太了解鲤脏,星期六可以一起吃晚飯嗎们颜?”我?guī)е粋€傻傻的微笑轉(zhuǎn)向他,大聲說:“我非常愿意猎醇!”他轉(zhuǎn)過頭奇怪的看著我窥突,然后拿下了他了藍牙耳機。 丫的硫嘶,聽歌能不能不要唱出來阻问,啊沦疾?FML
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今天称近,我坐在長椅上這個可愛的家伙旁邊第队。突然,他說:“我知道我們彼此不太了解煌茬,但是星期六你想一起吃晚飯嗎斥铺?”我?guī)е粋€愚蠢的微笑轉(zhuǎn)向他,大聲說:“我愿意坛善!”他給我一個奇怪的表情晾蜘,轉(zhuǎn)動他的頭和指向他的藍牙。FML
By小小編輯發(fā)表于2017-03-17
FML囧文Today, and every day since I got her, I leaned down to pour food and water into my cat's bowls. And today, like every single day, I forgot that my granite countertop sticks out a bit. I think part of my head is flat now. FML
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今天眠屎,自從我得到后的每一天剔交,我都傾斜著把食物和水倒入我的貓的碗里。 今天改衩,像每一天岖常,我都忘了我的花崗巖臺面伸出一點點。 我認(rèn)為我的頭頂現(xiàn)在可能是個平面葫督。丫的竭鞍,疼死老子了~
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今天,每一天橄镜,我得到她偎快,我俯身把食物和水進入我的貓的碗。今天洽胶,每一天晒夹,我忘了我的花崗巖臺面伸出一點。我想我的頭是扁的姊氓。FML
By小小編輯發(fā)表于2013-04-12
FML囧文Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML
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就在剛剛丐怯,我選擇繼續(xù)做我的單身狗,前兩個月交往了一個女孩翔横,今天我深情款款的跟她講“親愛的读跷,我愛你”,結(jié)果她好像看到了什么特別好笑的東西棕孙,指著我說“吆舔亭,瞧瞧哎,這是個什么東西绑翱 钦铺?”實在忍不住了,我就讓丫滾蛋了肢预,跟心智不健全的女孩子交往真可怕矛洞。FML
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今天,我第一次告訴我的女友兩個月,我愛她沼本。她打破了笑聲噩峦,開玩笑地問他,“你是什么抽兆,一種奇怪的嗎识补?”當(dāng)我約她5歲的時候,我可以發(fā)誓她比我大5歲辫红。我猜不是凭涂。FML
By小小編輯發(fā)表于2010-10-12
FML囧文Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML
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今天,我的男朋友在我們在一起的1年中第一次帶回家花和糖果贴妻。 想想他最后會說一些美妙的話切油,我很興奮。 我問他為什么如此甜蜜名惩,他回答說:“我以為你會以這種方式更好地分手澎胡。“滾~”
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今天娩鹉,我男朋友1年來第一次給我?guī)Я缩r花和糖果攻谁。想到他要求婚,我就興奮起來弯予。我問他為什么是如此甜美巢株,他回應(yīng)道,“我以為你會以分手這種方式更好熙涤。”FML
By小小編輯發(fā)表于2013-01-16
FML囧文Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
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爺爺年紀(jì)大了困檩,事情有時候會搞亂掉祠挫,剛才我去給他送飯,做的花菜悼沿,結(jié)果我爺爺就問我等舔,“為什么今天的西藍花 (老人家分不清楚啥是花菜啥是西藍花) 是白色的?”于是我就解釋說今天這個是花菜糟趾,不是西藍花慌植,沒等我說完呢,老人家突然站起來指著我說我是蘇聯(lián)的間諜(來謀害他的)义郑,然后沖了出去蝶柿。FML
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今天,我爺爺問我為什么我吃的花椰菜是白色的非驮。我告訴他那是花椰菜交汤。他不相信我,指責(zé)我是一個俄國間諜劫笙,然后沖了出去芙扎。FML
By小小編輯發(fā)表于2011-08-16
FML囧文Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. Ipromptly(adv. 迅速地星岗;立即地;敏捷地) stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML
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樓主在酒店做清潔工戒洼,酒店一般上午的時候客人都會退房走掉俏橘,空蕩蕩的,走在空蕩蕩的走廊里面突然舞興大發(fā)圈浇,于是伸展雙臂想象自己站在廣闊的舞臺上跳芭蕾寥掐,正在自以為是的時候突然想起來我們酒店是有攝像頭監(jiān)控的,我覺著我們監(jiān)控室的哥們現(xiàn)在肯定以為我是個煞筆汉额。FML
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今天曹仗,我在工作的時候很無聊。這使我開始熱情地在空蕩蕩的走廊里跳芭蕾舞蠕搜。我立即停下來怎茫,因為我記得監(jiān)視攝像機。FML
By小小編輯發(fā)表于2010-05-25
FML囧文Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
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我女朋友撞門框上了妓灌,眼睛黑黑的轨蛤,為了不讓別人嘲笑她,現(xiàn)在所有的人都以為是我打的虫埂,祥山。FML
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今天,我女朋友真的走進了一扇門掉伏,給了她一只黑色的眼睛缝呕。她不好意思承認(rèn),所以她告訴每個人我打敗了她斧散。FML