"英國(guó)脫歐"（Brexit）如此沉重的話題，在SAT一篇時(shí)政引文中透绩，竟然是用如此文青的筆調(diào)來開篇：
“有一次，海明威夸下海口說帚豪，他可以用六個(gè)字就講完一個(gè)故事：“全新童鞋待售碳竟。”不過狸臣，我沒覺得有多牛莹桅。你要是讓我來概括20世紀(jì)的全球形勢(shì)，我會(huì)比他更厲害：“歐洲烛亦。打架诈泼。”一百年里八位教宗兩次世界大戰(zhàn)煤禽，可濃縮成這兩個(gè)字：“歐洲铐达。打架∶使””
（Ernest Hemingway once boasted that he could tell a story in six words: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Nonetheless, I'm not impressed; ask me to summarize something as vast as the global whole of the 20th Century, and I think I can do him four better: Europe fought. 100 years, eight Popes, and two world wars all boiled down to just those words. Europe. Fought. ）
緊接著瓮孙，歐盟被比喻為歐洲的一場(chǎng)聯(lián)姻：
“這個(gè)頻年不解兵的大陸，居然能夠互相冰釋前嫌汁汗，敷愈陳年膿瘡衷畦，擯棄民粹狂熱，結(jié)成歐盟共效床笫之歡知牌。有鑒于歐洲喜怒無常的歷史祈争，此一聯(lián)姻尤其為人稱道〗谴纾”
(Such a volatile connected history makes it all the more fascinating that the entirety of the combative continent was able to redress its respective grievances, apply the? salve to decades-old festering wounds, shuck off fervent nationalism, and join together in marital bliss as a veritable European Union. )
這場(chǎng)婚姻菩混，和世上千千萬萬的婚姻一樣，走著走著就要散了：
“可是蜜月已經(jīng)結(jié)束――天下無不散之蜜月嘛扁藕。新婚燕爾的洞房花燭沮峡，昔日的山盟海誓已成往事如煙，整個(gè)歐洲現(xiàn)在很像正在接受國(guó)際關(guān)系心理輔導(dǎo)亿柑。負(fù)責(zé)養(yǎng)家糊口的德國(guó)干得心不甘情不愿邢疙，牢騷滿腹地說：“他不擅打理俺倆的財(cái)產(chǎn)⊥。”希臘則聲稱疟游，“我最需要她的時(shí)候，她竟然見死不救痕支“渑埃”而整個(gè)大陸其它國(guó)家則納悶，“看看你們倆卧须！你們都不知道俺們是怎么熬過來的另绩。" 他們不得不在這場(chǎng)地緣政治糾紛中扮演一名介乎性格證人和中立仲裁人的角色儒陨。然而，俗話說得好：“相見時(shí)難別亦難笋籽”哪”現(xiàn)在，嘗盡了浪漫的甘果后干签，我們終于走到現(xiàn)在這個(gè)歧路口了津辩。”
(But the honeymoon—as honeymoons are wont to do—has ended. The initial endorphin rush of uniting toward a greater purpose has long passed, and all of Europe now? finds itself in something very much like international relationship counseling. "He can't manage our finances," Germany bemoans as the reluctant breadwinner. "She refuses to help now that I need her most," Greece exclaims. "Listen to you two! You have no idea of the sordid sort of things that we've seen!" the rest of the continent marvels, obliged to play a role somewhere between character witness and neutral arbiter in this geopolitical Jovers' quarrel. Yet, as the saying goes, "breaking up is hard to do."Now that all low hanging fruit romantic metaphors have been exhausted, at that crossroads is where we now find ourselves.)
希臘容劳，這個(gè)人類文明的搖籃，是怎么淪落街頭成為個(gè)債多不愁的窮要飯的闸度？
“明天竭贩，希臘將面對(duì)債主，聽天由命：要么就是其它歐洲國(guó)家（解讀：德國(guó)與默克爾總理）借十五億歐元給希臘莺禁，讓它可以償還國(guó)際貨幣基金組織的舊債留量，要么這位田園詩般的地中海昔日巨人就該壽終正寢了。它將賴賬不還哟冬，跳上下一班火車楼熄，駛向那個(gè)名為“歐洲大逃亡”的鬼域『葡浚”
(Tomorrow, Greece will go before its creditors to learn its fate: either the rest of Europe (read: Germany and Chancellor Angela Merkel) will extend a El.5 billion loan to the Greeks so that they might pay off a previous International Monetary Fund float,? or this idyllic Mediterranean Titan of yore will finally meet its end, defaulting on its debt and hopping the next train toward the ghost town called European Banishment.)
希臘尚且如此可岂，歐盟其它小妾偏房的日子怕也好過不到哪去：
“希臘如此凈身出戶（聰明的小編起名為“希脫歐”），很可能只是第一張倒下的多米諾骨牌翰灾。緊隨其后的一系列事態(tài)發(fā)展缕粹，會(huì)讓該地區(qū)動(dòng)蕩不安，從此危及歐盟的生機(jī)與活力纸淮∑秸叮”
(Such an exit (dubbed Grexit by the media, in their eminent wit) might well be the first domino to fall in a series of developments that could destabilize the region and threaten the validity and vitality of the E.U. henceforth.)
俗話說：“救急不救窮⊙士椋”窮親戚太多绘面，德國(guó)英國(guó)再闊綽再豪爽，也接濟(jì)不過來的：
"一切后果皆有可能侈沪。比如：即便希臘得到了上述借款揭璃，可以留在歐盟里了，說不定哪天德國(guó)掏子女贍養(yǎng)費(fèi)掏煩了呢峭竣？"
(Consequential possibilities abound. For one, should Greece receive said funding? and be permitted to remain, at what point does Germany tire of paying child support?? )
天下無不散之筵席塘辅。歐盟這道流水席吃了這么多年，現(xiàn)在才發(fā)現(xiàn)皆撩，臺(tái)面上的菜肴扣墩，只剩下德國(guó)咸豬手一道了：
"柏林要是真的厭煩了哲银，那么自然的結(jié)果就是：它趕緊到自己閣樓里翻找剩存的德國(guó)馬克，再不要什么歐元啊懷舊啊呻惕，趕緊恢復(fù)昔日的自由身荆责，鈔票還是自家的好，而不是一場(chǎng)有難同當(dāng)?shù)呢?cái)政悲劇亚脆。還有做院，英國(guó)的脫歐，給今后的資格取消開了一個(gè)先河濒持，西班牙键耕，葡萄牙，愛爾蘭柑营，或意大利屈雄，都有可能在下一輪“擊鼓傳花”的音樂聲嘎然而止時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)自己沒有椅子可坐官套，只好退出去當(dāng)個(gè)作壁上觀的墻上花酒奶。"
(The natural conclusion to that fatigue in Berlin would be a harried rummaging through the attic in search of leftover Deutsche marks, desperate to replace the Euro and nostaIgic for the autonomy of yesteryear when currency was their own and not some perverted fiscal tragedy of the commons. Moreover, the precedent is set for further? disqualification with a Grexit, perhaps Spain, Portugal, Ireland, or Italy might be the next one left without a chair when the music stops, resigned to their fate as wallflowers on the outside looking in.)
希臘臨急可能會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)而去抱俄國(guó)的佛腳。焉知不是與虎謀皮呢奶赔？
"希臘的僥幸心理是：俄國(guó)或許會(huì)披盔掛甲前來救風(fēng)塵惋嚎，天上掉餡餅般給希臘一筆貸款。但是站刑，看看普京最近在克里米亞耍的把戲另伍，就算真有筆款借給你，也不是什么善舉笛钝，而是一匹“特洛伊木馬”质况。克里姆林宮里那幫普京死黨們都是些詭計(jì)多端之徒玻靡，他們的把戲你永遠(yuǎn)猜不透结榄。嗨，對(duì)居心叵測(cè)的解讀就有這樣的麻煩：在歷史成為一本即將付梓之書以前囤捻，人的居心永遠(yuǎn)叵測(cè)臼朗。關(guān)鍵的問題是：歷史書卷的墨跡甫干，歐盟會(huì)被編入"時(shí)事"一章中嗎蝎土？還是會(huì)被打入學(xué)術(shù)年鑒的冷宮视哑？它的骨骸，會(huì)不會(huì)僅僅成了一宗“水火不容”的外交案例誊涯？它的骨灰挡毅，會(huì)不會(huì)僅僅成了哈佛大學(xué)肯尼迪政府學(xué)院一場(chǎng)關(guān)于反思方枘配圓鑿的弊端的講演？"
(Greek optimistic sentiment is that Russia might don its shining armor and rescue the fledgling castaways with a godsend of a loan. But, given Putin's recent sleight of hand in Crimea, any such lending may not be so much an act of charity as a Trojan Horse; Vladimir's Kremlin friends are a crafty bunch, and their endgame is opaque. Alas,? such is the problem with deciphering ulterior motives: they often aren't clear until the history books go to print. The trillion dollar question is, when the ink dries, will the E.U. be listed in the chapters of current events? Or, will it be relegated to the annals of academia, its skeleton but a diplomatic case study of oil and water, its ashes little more than a Kennedy School lecture on the perils of collaboration between square pegs and? round holes?)
后記：這種政論小品寓莊于諧暴构，運(yùn)用大量修辭手段跪呈，如擬人段磨，比喻和隱喻等，把一個(gè)本來枯燥到?jīng)]天理的話題耗绿，激活成一篇?jiǎng)痈惺愕臍W洲地緣政治浮世繪苹支，堪為已經(jīng)習(xí)慣了板著一張苦大仇深臉孔的新聞從業(yè)人員，時(shí)事評(píng)論員和國(guó)際政治講師們學(xué)習(xí)的范文误阻。
