這是理查德費曼寫給自己亡妻的一封信应民。
原文如下:
October 17, 1946
D’Arline,?
I adore you, sweetheart.
I know how much you like to hear that — but I don’t only write it because you like it — I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.
It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I know you’ll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.
But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.
I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but I still want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do little projects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do. We started to learn to make clothes together — or learn Chinese — or getting a movie projector. Can’t I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.
When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed. You needn’t have worried. Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearly even more true — you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.
I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don’t want to be in my way. I’ll bet you are surprised that I don’t even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can’t help it, darling, nor can I — I don’t understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don’t want to remain alone — but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.
My darling wife, I do adore you.
I love my wife. My wife is dead.
Rich.
PS Please excuse my not mailing this — but I don’t know your new address
翻譯：
1946 年 10 月 17 日
親愛的艾琳但校，
我喜歡你，親愛的枷踏。
我知道你有多喜歡聽這句話——但我寫它不僅僅是因為你喜歡它——我寫它是因為把它寫給你回讓我內心溫暖菩暗。
自從我上次給你寫信以來，已經是很長一段時間了——差不多兩年了旭蠕，但我知道你會原諒我的停团，因為你明白我是多么固執(zhí)和現實，我認為寫信沒有意義掏熬。
但是我親愛的妻子佑稠，現在我終于現在該做我一直沒有拖延的事情了，這件事情我過去已經做了很多孽江。我想告訴你我愛你。我想要愛你番电。我永遠愛你岗屏。
我很難理解在你死后愛你意味著什么——但我仍然想安慰和照顧你——我希望你愛我、關心我漱办。我有問題想和你討論——我想和你做一些小項目这刷，直到現在我才想到我們可以做到這一點。我們應該做什么娩井。我們開始學習一起做衣服——或者學中文——或者弄個電影放映機暇屋。我現在不能做點什么嗎？不洞辣。沒有你我孤身一人咐刨，而你是我們所有狂野冒險的發(fā)起人昙衅。
當你生病時，你會擔心定鸟，因為你無法給我你想要并認為我需要的東西而涉。你不必擔心。正如我當時告訴你的那樣联予，我并不需要你做什么啼县，因為我在很多方面都非常愛你。現在它顯然更加真實——你現在什么都不能給我沸久，但我愛你季眷，所以你阻礙了我愛其他人——但我希望你站在那里。你卷胯，死了子刮，比任何活著的人都要好得多。
我知道你認為我是愚蠢的诵竭，你希望我擁有完全的幸福话告，不想妨礙我。我敢打賭卵慰，兩年后我甚至沒有女朋友（除了你沙郭，親愛的），你一定很驚訝裳朋。但是你無能為力病线，親愛的，我也無能為力——我不明白鲤嫡，因為我遇到了很多女孩和非常好的女孩送挑，我不想一個人呆著——但是在兩三次見面中，她們似乎就像是塵埃暖眼。我只剩下你了惕耕。你是真實的。
我親愛的妻子诫肠，我真的很喜歡你司澎。
我愛我的妻子。我的妻子死了栋豫。
理查德挤安。
PS 請原諒我沒有郵寄這封信 - 因為我不知道你的新地址。
