編譯：王欣園
校對： 代玉龍
時間：2024年9月29日
格溫妮絲·劉易斯（Gwyneth Lewis）是第一位獲得“威爾士民族詩人”稱號的當(dāng)代詩人翻诉，其作品通常為雙語創(chuàng)作即威爾士語與英語呢撞，而內(nèi)容則圍繞著“母語”與“身份”等主題。格溫妮絲從小便展現(xiàn)了驚人的才華铡溪，時年七歲便獲得諸多寫作大賽獎項。然而，這位看似光榮環(huán)繞的天之嬌女卻深陷于家庭的情感泥潭之中。
1959年仪媒，格溫妮絲出生于英國威爾士公國的首府卡迪夫。她的母親厄爾（Eryl）是當(dāng)?shù)厣鐓^(qū)備受尊敬的英語教師谢鹊，其獨(dú)特的教學(xué)風(fēng)格以及雷厲風(fēng)行的處世風(fēng)格使得附近居民對她贊不絕口算吩。然而，對于女兒格溫妮絲佃扼，她卻總是嚴(yán)苛得不近人情（她的母親厄爾年幼時也有過創(chuàng)傷經(jīng)歷）偎巢。據(jù)格溫妮絲回憶道，那時無論她在學(xué)校表現(xiàn)得多么出色兼耀，但只要在家中犯錯便會導(dǎo)致母親厄爾的大發(fā)雷霆压昼。在母親厄爾的眼里求冷，格溫妮絲總是敏感又反叛，只有依靠嚴(yán)厲的教導(dǎo)才能使她成為“合格的”女兒窍霞，甚至直至臨終前匠题，她也仍在平靜地呵斥格溫妮絲。
對于格溫妮絲來說但金，母親在她成長過程中施以的毀滅性言語打擊嚴(yán)重?fù)p害了她的自我意識韭山，并使她一度陷入否認(rèn)自我存在的惡性循環(huán)中。情感上的無處依托促使著她將內(nèi)心的傷痛借以文字的形式得以最終表達(dá)冷溃。
七歲那年格溫妮絲開始寫詩钱磅。第一首詩歌的吟誦對象是“雨”，而那首詩隨后也得到了她母親厄爾的認(rèn)可秃诵。此后续搀，她們便多次參加威爾士國家周報舉辦的兒童詩歌比賽，并屢次取得優(yōu)異成績菠净。那時禁舷，當(dāng)格溫妮絲寫完一首詩，母親厄爾便會為她修改毅往。一來一回的合作中牵咙，格溫妮絲也短暫地沉浸在母親的溢賞之詞中。但顯然攀唯，母親并沒有止步于此洁桌，她不斷敦促著格溫妮絲前進(jìn)。隨著格溫妮絲長大侯嘀，她越來越頻繁地參加全國性賽事另凌，最后她與母親之間的合作平衡也被打破。當(dāng)格溫妮斯發(fā)現(xiàn)曾幾何時自己所熱愛的寫作已經(jīng)讓她失去了自我戒幔，她決定擺脫母親的束縛吠谢，前往美國找尋屬于自己的聲音。在美國的那段時間里诗茎，格溫妮絲開始轉(zhuǎn)向質(zhì)疑自己對母語與英語的文化忠誠工坊，并探討徘徊于兩種語言間帶來的不適感。隨著母親遺留陰影的消散敢订，她的創(chuàng)作生涯也愈發(fā)順利王污。與此同時，她不再需要在威爾士語和英語之間做出選擇楚午，而是隨心所欲地運(yùn)用兩者昭齐。
然而，母親帶來的情感創(chuàng)傷依舊讓她深感困擾醒叁。她意識到司浪，情感創(chuàng)傷的代價是巨大的泊业，盡管在藝術(shù)創(chuàng)作中我們或許能找到某種自我救贖把沼，但自我厭惡與羞愧感依然會不時襲來啊易。如今，她也學(xué)會了識別情感操控饮睬，信任自己的創(chuàng)作租谈，而不再依賴他人的評價。盡管有時感到孤獨(dú)捆愁，但她堅信自己要抵制從眾與集體思維割去。作為一名成年人，她與父母保持聯(lián)系昼丑，并在他們生命的最后階段照顧他們呻逆。盡管她的回憶錄可能讓母親感到不安，但她努力在文字中誠實菩帝、客觀地描繪母女關(guān)系咖城。她認(rèn)為，這種持續(xù)的關(guān)注與理解是給予母親最好的愛呼奢，而她也相信宜雀，藝術(shù)不僅僅是療愈，更是一種探索和真誠的體現(xiàn)握础。
Gwyneth Lewis was the first contemporary poet to be awarded the title of "Welsh National Poet". Her works are typically bilingual, consisting of Welsh and English, and revolve around themes such as "mother tongue" and "identity". Gwyneth has shown amazing talent since childhood, winning numerous writing competition awards at the age of seven. However, this seemingly glorious goddess of heaven is deeply immersed in the emotional quagmire of her family.
In 1959, Gwyneth was born in Cardiff, the capital of the Duchy of Wales in the United Kingdom. Her mother Eryl is a highly respected English teacher in the local community, and her unique teaching style and decisive worldly style have earned her endless praise from nearby residents. However, for her daughter Gwyneth, she is always harsh and inhumane (her mother Earl also had traumatic experiences when she was young). According to Gwyneth's recollection, no matter how outstanding she was at school, making mistakes at home would lead to her mother Earl's anger. In the eyes of her mother Earl, Gwyneth was always sensitive and rebellious, and only through strict guidance could she become a "qualified" daughter. Even before her death, she calmly scolded Gwyneth. For Gwyneth, the devastating verbal blows inflicted by her mother during her upbringing severely damaged her self-awareness and led her into a vicious cycle of denying her own existence. The lack of emotional support prompted her to express her inner pain in the form of words.
At the age of seven, Gwyneth began writing poetry. The object of recitation for the first poem was' rain ', and that poem was later recognized by his mother Earl. Afterwards, they participated in several children's poetry competitions organized by the Welsh National Weekly and achieved excellent results. At that time, when Gwyneth finished writing a poem, her mother Earl would edit it for her. During the repeated collaborations, Gwyneth also briefly immersed herself in her mother's lavish words of appreciation. But obviously, the mother did not stop there, she constantly urged Gwyneth to move forward. As she grew older, Gwyneth appeared more and more frequently in national competitions, but as a result, the balance of cooperation between her and her mother was also disrupted. When Gwyneth realized that the writing she once loved had caused her to lose herself, she decided to break free from her mother's constraints and go to America to find her own voice. During her time in the United States, Gwyneth began to question her cultural loyalty to her mother tongue and English, and explore the discomfort of being caught between the two languages. As the shadow left by her mother dissipated, her creative career became increasingly smooth - she no longer had to choose between Welsh and English, but could freely use both at will.
However, the emotional trauma caused by her mother still deeply troubled her. She realized that the cost of emotional trauma is enormous, and although we may find some kind of self redemption in artistic creation, self disgust and shame still occasionally strike. Now, she has also learned to recognize emotional manipulation, trust her own creations, and no longer rely on others' evaluations. Although she sometimes feels lonely, she firmly believes in resisting conformity and collective thinking. As an adult, she maintains contact with her parents and takes care of them in the final stages of their lives. Although her memoirs may have made her mother feel uneasy, she strives to depict the mother daughter relationship honestly and objectively in her words. She believes that this continuous attention and understanding is the best love to give to her mother, and she also believes that art is not only healing, but also a manifestation of exploration and sincerity.
